Grocery Stores
Me: “WordPress and I have continuing disagreements about
the sizes and positions of graphics.
I am comfortable with imperfection.”
Shoplifting
May 4, 2023
Two attendants stood near a self checkout line.
Me: “Do you see much theft?”
Female Attendant: “It’s bad.”
Me: “Years ago I worked at a small specialty store in Chicago. A white man wearing a business suit shoplifted a small statue from Africa. It was there before he came in. It was gone after he left. He was the only customer in the store.”
We agreed that shoplifters are not always who you think they are.
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One Cashier
May 11, 2023
Only one cashier was checking out a long line of customers.
Me: “Are you short-staffed?
Cashier: “The store reduced staff hours. A lot of employees want more hours, but we’re not getting enough hours to pay our bills.”
I felt sad for all the employees who wanted to earn money to pay their bills, but couldn’t.
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Tired Worker
May 18, 2023
Walking into the store, a worker asked me how I was.
Me: “I’m good because I slept well. Did you sleep well?”
Worker: “No, but I’m getting off soon and taking a nap.”
Me: “Have a good nap.”
Worker: “Thank you.”
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Gardening
May 24, 2023
I was in a checkout line in front of a decades younger man.
Me: “Do you plant anything?”
Decades Younger Man: “I rototill for a friend who gives me some of the harvest.”
Me: “I moved an indoor hanging strawberry plant outside today.”
We wished each other happy planting.
Spranger Guiding Value Probabilities
Satisfying a need
Helping
Gaining fresh produce from a time and energy investment
Usefulness
He talked about rototilling first and the harvest second.
Helping before Usefulness
Likely First and Second guiding value blend
Helping with Usefulness
Helping with rototilling to gain fresh produce
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Equality In Laughter
June 15, 2023
I sent a text while in the store. My iPhone changed ‘going to’ into ‘Giotto’ for some strange reason. Laughing, I approached a white female employee and a Black male employee to share the laughter.
White Female was closer, so I held my phone for her to see first. We laughed a bit while Black Male looked off to the side.
I made a point of holding my phone so Black Male could read the text himself. We also laughed a bit.
It was an easy way to demonstrate equality to the bystanders in the same aisle.
~~~~~~~~~~
Score For Smiles
July 1, 2023
Shared Reality In A Single Sentence
(YOU Section, Synchronizing Similarities)
In line at a small grocery store, I noticed a magazine cover with the face of Jackie Kennedy and a story about her secret life. Jackie Kennedy died in 1994.
The older female cashier rarely smiled at me, but I pointed to the magazine cover.
Me: “That was written for people our age.”
Older Female Cashier smiling AND chuckling: “I noticed that. I wondered if they had a slow week.”
Got her to smile! SCORE!
To be continued…
A Floor Mat Not Doing Its Job
July 15, 2023
I walked into the grocery store where the unsmiling cashier finally smiled with me over a magazine cover. She watched me walk in and walk onto a floor mat.
Older Female Cashier: “You nearly tripped on that mat. It has one job to do and it has trouble doing it. All it has to do is stay flat on the floor, but it won’t.”
Me laughing: “Maybe it needs training.”
Formerly Unsmiling Cashier went from not smiling with me to smiling with me to joking with me!
DOUBLE SCORE!
DISC Behavior Style Possible Blend Clues
Reserved at first
Friendly and joking after shared reality
Conscientiousness / Influence
~~~~~~~~~~
Believing The Cashier
July 13, 2023
In the checkout line, I saw fruit flavored chocolate bars.
Me: “Have you tried those chocolates?”
Cashier: “I have. They were good. I’ll check you out again of you go back for some.”
I did go back for the chocolate, and I did go through Cashier’s line again.
Me: “I’m believing you!”
Cashier:“Thank you!”
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Hair Colors
October 20. 2023
The cashier had corkscrew hair that was brown on the top half and dark pink on the bottom half.
Me: “Do you color your own hair?”
Cashier: “I do.”
Me: Are you going to try any other colors?”
Cashier: “Eventually, but I’m sticking with the dark pink for now.”
Me: “It looks very good.”
Cashier: “Thank you.”
DISC Behavior Style Clue
Unique hair color
Influence
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Brotherly Fun
February 09, 2024
A cashier had stand up hair on top of his head. It was colored a combination of orange and yellow.
Me: “Do you ever get negative comments about your hair?”
Cashier: “No, they’re mostly positive. Only my brother gives me trouble.”
Me: “I think trouble is what you can expect from a brother.”
Cashier: “I agree.”
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Breaking Stereotypes
February 9, 2024
The white family in front of me had a cart full of groceries. The big husky father stood behind the cart, feeding the tiny child in the seat. The mother stood at the front of the cart, unloading everything.
I walked up to stand between the father and mother
Me: “I’m impressed to see you breaking stereotypes. You, the woman, are unloading the cart and you, the man, are feeding the baby!”
They responded positively.
The cashier was Black and smiled as he listened.
Black Cashier: “Teamwork matters more than stereotyped roles.”
No one was behind me, so Black Cashier continued talking as he checked me out.
Black Cashier: “I’m frustrated with the stereotype that Black fathers are absent. My father worked for the railroad. My mother had her own daycare business in our house. My father came home and cooked dinner while my mother drove the children home.”
Teamwork instead of stereotyped roles.
DISC Behavior Style Clues
Talk about teamwork
Talk about family
Steadiness
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Unwelcome Find
February 27, 2024
The woman in front of me in line was wearing green rubber boots with white polka dots.
Me: “I like your boots.”
Boot Wearer: “I put them on once a year at maple syrup time. I shake them out before I put them on in case something crawled in over the last year.”
Me: “I spend a lot of time with an elderly woman. I went to her house one winter day to take her out. When I went for her boots, I smelled something dead in that room. I could not find any small corpse. I put the left boot on my friend, and all went well. But when I tried to put the right boot on, Elderly Woman protested.
Elderly Woman: “I feel something in there.”
Luckily, I turned the boot upside down instead of reaching inside.
Dead mouse.
~~~~~~~~~~
Mother’s Day Reminder
May 12, 2024
The grandma age woman in front of me in line was all dressed up.
Me: “Are you dressed up for Mother’s Day or for church?”
Dressed Up Woman: “It’s Sunday, so I’m dressed up for church. But no one in church said anything about Mother’s Day, so I stood up and wished every mother a Happy Mother’s Day.”
The wisdom of grandmas!
DISC Behavior Style Blend Clues
Maintaining etiquette rules
Taking the spotlight
Conscientiousness / Influence
or
Influence / Conscientiousness
Spranger Guiding Value Clue
Attending church every Sunday
Dressing up for church
Maintaining Mother’s Day tradition
Belief
~~~~~~~~~~
Something In The Air
June 20, 2024
My purchases came to $20.39. I pulled out coins and a $20 bill. I counted through my coins and handed 39 cents to the young cashier. An older cashier stood by, obviously training Young Cashier. Young Cashier looked at the coins with confusion. I realized I hadn’t given her the $20 bill and handed it over.
Me: “Sorry, I forgot I hadn’t given you the $20.”
Young Cashier looked confused in a new way.
Young Cashier: “You don’t have to give me the 39 cents if you give me a $20.”
Training Cashier leaned over.
Training Cashier: “She gave you the 39 cents because she wants a single bill back.”
We all laughed.
Me: “There’s something in the air that made us both lose our ability to think.”
We all laughed again.
~~~~~~~~~~
Colorful Shoes
August 2, 2024
The woman in front of me in line wore multi-colored T-strap shoes.
Me: “I like your shoes. I’d like to wear multi-colored T-strap shoes.”
Woman: “They’re children’s shoes. Children have big feet now.”
I can look in more places for multi-colored T strap shoes!
DISC Behavior Style Clue
Colorful, attention drawing shoes
Influence
~~~~~~~~~~
Full Acceptance
December 21, 2024
A female employee wearing a beaded hijab stood near the exit door. I knew she was an employee because she wore an employee name tag.
Me: “I like the beading! Have you experienced any stereotyping because of your hijab?”
No. She moved to the United Stated 6 years ago. She applied for jobs in 3 cities, saying at every job interview:
“This is who I am. I am Muslim.”
All 3 companies hired her.
Her English was halting, but I could understand what she said to me.
Me: “I’m very happy that you experienced so much acceptance.”
Hijab Wearing Employee: “Thank you. Merry Christmas!”
After leaving the store, I realized I hadn’t asked where she came from. But where she came from isn’t what matters. What matters is that she feels acceptance now that she is here. And she does.
DISC Behavior Style Clues
Positivity
Friendliness
Enjoying conversation
Influence
Spranger Guiding Value Clue
Determination to follow the traditions of her faith
Belief
~~~~~~~~~~
Old But Not Stupid
December 23, 2024
I walked past an older man wearing a colorful jacket.
Me: “I like your jacket.”
Older Man: “Thank you.”
Older Man kept talking so I stopped to listen.
He had worn his jacket at a big mall. A young woman came up to him to say she liked his jacket. He thanked her and moved on.
Half an hour later, he walked past a kiosk. The young woman who had admired his jacked was inside the kiosk, selling some kind of cream. She called him over.
Young Woman held up a container of the cream and started telling Older Man how wonderful it was. She reached for his hand to apply some of the cream. Older Man pulled his hand away.
Young Woman: “You’re breaking my heart!”
Older Man: “No thank you.”
He walked away.
Older Man: “I may be old, but I’m not stupid!”
I wondered if Young Woman’s pay came only from the sales she made.
DISC Behavior Style Blend Clues
Colorful jacket
Starting a conversation,
Offended by uninvited touch
Anger about Young Woman’s attitude
Influence /Dominance
or
Dominance / Influence
~~~~~~~~~~
Food For Teenagers
February 15, 2025
I walked into a line behind a man with a young child in the cart. The conveyor belt was covered with food, mostly bags of fruits and vegetables.
Me: “Your family eats healthy food.”
Father: “The food that went through first was not so healthy. I have teenagers who want quick to eat food.”
DISC Behavior Style Clues
Enjoying talking about his family
Loyalty to teenager desires
Steadiness
~~~~~~~~~~
Planning Ahead
February 27, 2025
The store was crowded today. I realized it was crowded because people were shopping before the economic blackout planned for the 28th. A female customer and I discussed the crowded store. She said it was crowded everywhere.
Me: “I’ve been buying ahead on my basic necessities since the November election. Not many workers will be out picking tomatoes this year.”
Female Customer: “I noticed a young man in another store buying dozens of canned goods. He said, ‘I’m buying them while I can still afford them.’ Pretty soon, we won’t be able to eat. I could afford to lose a few pounds.”
We live in a rural area, so we see people picking crops. I took home more of the canned tomato goods I use frequently.
DISC Behavior Style Clue
Young Man making a plan
Conscientiousness
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Lemon Love
March 6, 2025
Approaching a freezer, I saw a woman with a bag of lemons.
Me: “What do you do with your lemons? I make lemon paste.”
Lemon Customer: “I just like to drink lemon in water.”
Me: “Lemons are good for your lungs.”
Lemon Customer: “Yes, they are. Have a good day.”
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Return On Investment
March 20, 2025
As I walked up to the Aldi store with a quarter in my hand for a cart, I saw a man returning a cart. Holding my hand up I called to him:
Me: “I’ll buy your cart.”
He paused and waited for me to get closer.
Man: “Do you have a quarter?”
Me: “Yes!”
Man: “Perfect!”
Spranger Guiding Value Clue
Needing a return on the quarter he invested
Usefulness
This man was in his late 20s or early 30s.
He wore a red, long-sleeved pullover and dark, casual pants.
His long hair fell well below his shoulders.
He did not the stereotype of a well-dressed businessman
who is focused only on his own profit.
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Efficient Bagger
May 22, 2025
I saw a 3 or 4 year old boy bagging groceries while his father scanned food at a self-checkout. Son was quite efficient. He was also giving Father some kind of instruction about checking out.
I turned to the couple behind me in the human cashier line.
Me: “That boy is quite an efficient bagger!”
The woman laughed.
Man: “Yes, he is. I wonder what they’re paying him. A piece of candy?”
Me: “I hope they’re paying him enough.”
Man: “They have to start sometime.”
Me: “I agree.”
DISC Behavior Style Clues
Curiosity
Interest in conversation
Influence
~~~~~~~~~~
Wisconsin Winters Instead of Hawaiian Beaches
July 12, 2025
I saw a man wearing a shirt and long shorts with big patterns.
Me: “You look like summer.”
Summer Man: “I just moved here from Hawaii.”
Me: “Why did you move to Wisconsin from Hawaii?”
Summer Man: Because my son lives here.”
Me: “Your son is very important.”
Summer Man: “I wouldn’t leave the beaches of Hawaii for any other reason.”
I looked at his 14 or 15 year old son.
Me: “You’re lucky you’re father moved to be here with you.”
Summer Man’s Son: “I know.”
DISC Behavior Style Clue
Loyalty to his son
Steadiness
~~~~~~~~~~
Intentional Smiles
August 14, 2025
I walked out at the same time as a woman wearing portable oxygen. I explained my stereotype blog posts.
Me: “Do you ever feel stereotyped because you wear oxygen?”
Woman: “Not that I’ve noticed.”
Me: “I’m glad to hear that.”
Woman: “But I always smile and smiles help.”
Me: “I agree.”
DISC Behavior Style Clue
Positivity
Influence
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Quality Control Fairness
August 21, 2025
I stopped in an aisle across from a Dad shopping with his daughter sitting in the cart. Daughter was holding a bag of candy.
Dad: “I get at least one of those. It’s only fair.”
Me: “I agree. It’s only fair.”
Dad: “It will be a test taste.”
Me: “Yep, a taste test.”
Dad: “Quality control.”
Me: “That’s right. Quality control.”
Daughter only looked back and forth between Dad and me, but Dad smiled as we all moved on.
DISC Behavior Style Clue
Open-minded to opportunity
Influence
~~~~~~~~~~
Happier
September 24, 2025
The cashier was talking to the customer ahead of me, whom she obviously knew. They were talking about Walmart.
When it was my turn…
Me: “Do you also work at Walmart?”
Cashier “I used to. They took away holiday pay and quarterly bonuses. I’ve been working here 4-1/2 years and my mother said I seem much happier. I am. Walmart is a terrible place to work.”
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Left Without Wheels
October 9, 2025
As I walked into the store, I saw a woman sitting in an electric shopping cart.
Me: “Are you ready to zoom off?”
Woman: “No. this cart needs charging. All 3 of these carts need charging. All the carts by the other door need charging, too.”
Me: “Wow!”
Woman: “I started walking around the store, but I got tired of walking and had to come back and sit. I think they cleaned all the carts all at once. They all look great.”
Me: “They do.”
Woman: “I have a caregiver. She’s walking around the store now, doing my shopping for me. She’s a treasure.”
Me: “I’m glad you have someone shopping for you.”
~~~~~~~~~~
© Paula M. Kramer, 2025
All rights reserved.
Updated October 13, 2025.