Restaurants
Me: “WordPress and I have continuing disagreements about
the sizes and positions of graphics.
I am comfortable with imperfection.”
Me: “WordPress and I have continuing disagreements about
the sizes and positions of graphics.
I am comfortable with imperfection.”
Taste Buds
December 2, 2024
My friend and I sat at the bar. She ordered a sweet old-fashioned. Driver me drank apple juice.
I started a conversation with Bartender.
Me: “My friend and I both like sweet wine. I don’t have the taste buds for dry wine. People who are snooty about their wine tastes merely have the taste buds for dry wine.”
Bartender: “I don’t have the taste buds for dry wine either. I get headaches from dry wine.”
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Sharing Reality
January 1, 2025
Shared Reality In A Single Sentence Example #1
(YOU Section, Synchronizing Similarities)
I had an uncomfortable phone conversation with the restaurant Manager. After my friend and I sat at the bar, Manager and several servers came and went mixing drinks and serving food at the bar. I could feel Manager felt uncomfortable near me, but didn’t know how to start talking to me.
That day happened to be the first day for a young woman. I waited for a break in busyness.
Me: “Is this your first restaurant job? Have you had any rude customers?”
Young Woman “I worked at a golf club. It was a lot of old men.”
I knew what she’d experienced.
Me: “When I was your age, I did the same work, but I was called a waitress. Are you called a waitress or a server?”
Manager was near the bar at the time and heard my question. Our shared reality gave him an opening.
Manager: “The job opening ads say ‘server / bartender’ and ‘bartender / server’ to identify the position. The night shift includes a bartender, but the day shift does not. All lunch servers have to mix drinks for patrons.”
Me: “Do you remember when the terminology went from waitress to server?”
Manager: “No I don’t, but it was way past time.”
Manager did not look me in the eye at all during this conversation, but he responded to our shared sense of reality about the history of waitressing / serving to restore a respectful relationship between us.
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Owner Deserves A Compliment
March 8, 2025
The owner of the above restaurant stops in during some of my visits. I watch his employees to see if they’re afraid of him. I see them laughing and talking and going about their jobs easily. No fear to my eyes.
Tonight I asked Bartender if I was right, that none of the employees are afraid of the owner.
Bartender: “No one is afraid of him.”
Me: “I’m thinking of complimenting him on having employees who like him the next time I see him.”
Bartender: “He would like that.”
Business owners who have happy employees deserve positive feedback.
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Pink Or Blue Or Purple?
March 8, 2025
Pink tie wearing Male Restaurant Manager reminded a female server that today was International Women’s Day.
Me: “I’m proud of you for mentioning that. In the 1910s in the United States, pink was the ‘strong’ color for boys and blue was the ‘soft’ color for girls.”
Male Restaurant Manager: “I believe that. Pink is my favorite color, especially a strong pink against a dark background. (Dark pink tie with black shirt tonight.) But I also like purple.”
Me: “Men are stereotyped as not liking purple.”
Male Restaurant Manager: “I find that hard to believe. It doesn’t make sense, especially since purple is the color of royalty. I like really deep purple.”
Me: “I like purple, too, dark purple.”
DISC Behavior Style Clue
Eye catching outfits
Influence
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Something Positive Out Of A Negative
March 8, 2025
A server had braids on the back of her head on each side.
Me: “Did you braid your own hair? The braids look very neat.”
Server: “I did.”
Me: “How long have you been braiding your hair that way?”
Server: “Since COVID. I decided to figure out how to do my own hair.”
Me: “So you made something positive out of a negative!”
Server: “I did!”
Spranger Guiding Value Clue
Figuring out a solution for a desire
Knowledge
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Hockey Fans
March 10, 2025
The bartender talked about taking college classes to a server.
Me: “What are you going to school for?”
Bartender: “Sports marketing and psychology. I want to do marketing for a professional hockey team.”
We talked about the Miracle on Ice team. She watched the movie. I watched both the series of Olympic games in 1980 and the movie. I had just watched the movie again the day before.
Me: “I looked up how many stops Jim Craig made for the Soviet game and the gold winning medal game. 36 and 21. The Americans came from behind in both games. I found a Jim Craig quote saying that no team member wanted to take credit for anything because they all wanted the team to win. 2 years after that 1980 gold, only professional athletes have gone to the Olympics. No gold medals since 1980. Too much professional ego.”
Bartender was not surprised.
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Car Chase Fans
March 11, 2025
At the local brew pub, I sat near the bar corner. Husband sat on the other side of the corner while Wife played video games, smashing stereotypes.
Me to Husband: “I need to sit on my friend’s left because I wear a hearing aid in my right ear.”
Husband: “I hear ya! No pun intended.”
Husband then started a conversation. He mentioned the name of someone I knew and worked with decades ago. He’ll say hello to her from me. She goes to 3 Bible study meetings a day.
Somehow, we moved on to car chases in The French Connection and Dukes of Hazard.
I had read something recently that said Dukes destroyed 8 cars before the production company figured out how to reuse film of the cars.
The full of laughter conversation continued until food arrived for my friend and me. Husband and Wife were doing take out after Wife was satisfied with video games.
DISC Behavior Style Clues
Humor
Friendliness
Conversation
Influence
Spranger Guiding Value Clue
3 Bible study meetings a day
Belief
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Strong Neck Muscles For Big Hats
March 15, 2025
My husband’s stepfather was a migrant who eventually became a U.S. citizen. My daughter grew up with various Mexican items, including a red sombrero with fancy stitching.
At a I restaurant, I showed one of the owners a photograph of my granddaughter wearing the red sombrero.
Restaurant Owner: “When I was young, men wore the sombreros to protect themselves from the hot sun.
The hats had no strings to hold the sombreros on, not even when riding horses.
The first time I wore a sombrero, it slid right off of my head. The older men told me how to move my head to keep the hat on. The men developed very strong neck muscles.”
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Baby Waves
March 17, 2025
Towards the end of our dinner, I started hearing baby talk. Walking towards the door, I detoured toward the baby, an Asian girl.
Me: “Do I hear a baby? I like hearing babies. It makes me smile!”
Asian Baby looked at me, waved the cup she was holding, and dropped it.
Asian Mother and friend smiled. I asked Asian Baby why she dropped her cup. I picked it up and set it on the table. Asian Baby waved at me with both hands.
Me: “Thank you!”
Asian Mother to Asian Baby: “Blow a kiss!”
I blew a kiss at Asian Baby and waved again before leaving.
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Intelligent Conversations
March 24, 2025
I told the hockey Bartender I’m 74 and asked her age.
Bartender: “I’m 22.”
Me: “I’m extremely satisfied that 74 year old me and 22 year old you have intelligent conversations about hockey.”
Bartender: “I agree. I can’t have an intelligent conversation about hockey with anyone my age.”
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Teenage Chatter
March 29, 2025
After dinner, I stood in the restaurant’s entry way waiting while my friend visited the restroom. A young teenage boy tried his hand a machine with a claw for picking up balls.
Teenage Boy: “Hello! How is your day going?”
Me: “I bought new barefoot shoes today!”
Teenage Boy: “Oh, yeah! I’ve heard of them. It’s like you’re walking barefoot!”
Teenage Boy couldn’t get the claw to pick up a ball.
Teenage Boy: “This isn’t easy to do.”
Me: “They purposefully make it difficult.”
DISC Behavior Style Clues
Outgoing
Friendly
Enjoying conversation
Influence
Possible Spranger Guiding Value Clue
Needing to keep a good image by explaining the difficulty of the claw machine
Position
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Stereotypes Where You Least Expect Them
May 9, 2025
At the restaurant bar with my friend, we watched an SEC history making tournament game between Oklahoma and Arkansas. I pointed out to Bartender that one of the players had hit 5 home runs in 7 games. Bartender made a comment about how great women’s sports are.
Me: “Have I told you about the Chicago Sun-Times and the Chicago Tribune 50 years ago?”
Bartender: “No.”
Me: “I’m 74. 50 years ago, both newspapers had jobs listed as ‘Women’s Jobs’ and ‘Men’s Jobs.’ The highest paying jobs for women were in dance clubs. Otherwise, they were clerical jobs, retail jobs, and waitress jobs.”
Bartender: “Wow. 50 years ago. That sounds more like 1910.”
Me: “The Christian Science Monitor is mostly a positive news source, but in one article, a young woman made a negative comment about Boomers, something like they didn’t make good choices. She didn’t know what she was talking about.”
Bartender: “Wow.”
“Welcome to the office, Gen Z. You’re the only one here.”
Laurent Belsie
Erika Page
Chris Ajuoga
August 12, 2022
“Gen Z are more discerning, in a way that boomers never were,” says Andrea Vanecko, design principal at architecture, planning, and design firm NBBJ. “If they are unsatisfied, they are going to leave. … They are not about staying dedicated to the company. They have a completely different approach.”
What are Gen Zers more discerning about?
Andrea Vanecko was not discerning about the lives of Boomers.
How many architectural firms would have hired Andrea Vanecko in the 1970s?
Would Andrea Vanecko even have been able to get any kind of degree in design / architecture during the 1970s?
Spranger Guiding Value Clue
Defining a difference in status that put her above Boomers
Position
The link below will take you to all of my stereotype blogs.
Stereotypes Behind Bad & Ugly Gossip: People In General
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Wearing Earrings
May 23, 2025
The man sitting down the bar from me wore gold hoop earrings.
Me: “In 1978, my husband lost a job because he wore one small diamond earring. I’m happy to see you wearing earrings.”
Earring Wearing Man: “Thank you. At 18 I couldn’t wear earrings, but now it’s, What the hell!”
Me: “In case anyone hassles you, I want you to know someone is cheering you on.”
Earring Wearing Man: “Thank you very much!”
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DISC Verbal Clues
Man wearing noticeable earrings
Friendliness
Influence
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More Opportunities
August 4, 2025
I mentioned to a server that I was an international bestselling author. He was impressed.
Me: I’m an example of how you can never tell what someone has done just by looking at them.”
Server: I’ve learned that working here. People look the opposite of what they’ve done.”
Me: “I’m proud of you. With that attitude, you’ll have more opportunities.”
Server: “Thank you!”
Olympians Of Opportunity
September 15, 2025
A man wearing “grimy jeans and a greasy T-shirt” was pumping gas at a small service station in Webster, Texas.
It was early 1969.
A gas customer started giving Gas Pumper a hard time. Gas Pumper responded in kind. The 15 year old son of
Gas Pumper was there and had to use his 200 pound frame to separate the 2 men.
On that day in 1969, only 3 human beings had ever been to the moon and back, piloting Apollo 8 only weeks before.
One of those men was Gas Pumper. He was pumping gas for free at this friend’s service station. In exchange,
Friend allowed Gas Pumper and his sons to use the station’s garage bay and lift for free.
Gas Pumper was Frank Borman, Commander of Apollo 8.
Imagine the story Gas Customer could have told to anyone willing to listen for the rest of his life.
All he had to do was to see opportunity in everyone he met, regardless of how they looked.
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Treated Like Human Beings
August 27, 2025
My friend went to the washroom after we finished eating at a fast food franchise. I asked the employee wiping off tables how long she had worked there.
Fast Food Employee: “About 3 years.”
Me: “You must like it then.”
Fast Food Employee: “It’s a decent place to work. The people here are good to work with. They try to accommodate our schedules.”
Me: “I’m glad to hear that.”
Fast Food Employee: “And they treat use like human beings, which is rare in fast food.”
Me: “I’m really glad to hear that! People with more money probably don’t treat you well, but they are dependent on you. They don’t want to admit they’re dependent on you.”
Fast Food Employee nodded in agreement.
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Sharing Scrub & Concerns
September 24, 2025
The restaurant washroom offered salt scrub for free.
As I was washing my hands, a woman came out of the other stall. She checked her makeup in the mirror before washing her hands.
Me pointing to the salt scrub: “Have you tried the salt scrub?”
Woman: “No. Have you?
Me: “I’m with a woman who has dementia. I can’t do anything extra in here. I bought ingredients to make my own.”
Woman: “That’s so nice of you. My friend has a family member with Parkinson’s.”
Woman walked around me to reach the salt scrub. After rubbing it on her hands a bit, she offered her hands to me to smell.
Me: “That smells good!”
Woman: “It does!”
DISC Behavior Style Clues
Curiosity
Friendliness
Interest in conversation
Influence
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Old Ladies Do Drive Pickup Trucks
October 5, 2025
I drove my male companion in my small SUV to the restaurant.
Restaurant Owner had a curiosity question about a pickup truck in the parking lot. One of his employees approached our table, looked at my male companion, and asked if that particular pickup truck was his. No. Male Employee did not even look at me. He moved onto the next table and found the owner, who was a man.
When our server had a free moment, I called her over and told her about the pickup truck question.
Me: “I know 2 old ladies older than me who own big, honkin’ pickups. It’s a bit of a stereotype to think old ladies don’t own pickup trucks.”
Server, pointing at me: “You’re right! You’re right! I get it!”
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High School Differences
October 6, 2025
While waiting in line to place an ice cream order, the customer in front of us talked to the teenage boy cashier about high school. My high school experience was horrific.
Me: “Do you like your high school?”
Teenage Boy Cashier: “Yes, I do.”
Me: “I’m glad. My high school was very restrictive.”
A teenage girl cashier was standing nearby, listening to us while waiting for customers, so I asked her the same question.
Teeanage Girl Cashier: “Yes. We go to the same high school.”
Me: “My high school was Catholic and all girl. We weren’t supposed to hold hands with boys until we were engaged.”
Teeanage Girl Cashier: “Wow!”
Me: “We weren’t supposed to wear patent leather shoes because they supposedly reflected up.”
Teeanage Girl Cashier: “You’re kidding!”
Me: “We weren’t supposed to eat ravioli with a boy because the ravioli would make the boys think of pillows.”
Shocked silence.
Me to Teenage Boy Cashier: “When you look at a ravioli, do you think of a pillow?”
Teenage Boy Cashier: “No!”
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© Paula M. Kramer, 2025
All rights reserved.
Updated October 16, 2025.