November 5, 2023

Real world examples of with you invites.

New examples are added at the bottom of the list.


Keep these in mind for all of your with you invites.





“Developing trust: Understand the 4 elements first”
Laurie K.Cure
Chief Learning Officer
June 25, 2021


With you invites could reduce the changes of people feeling violence triggers.

“While many people believe that violence occurs when people are angry about certain circumstances,
they become angry over that they believe about the circumstances.”

“According to (Mike) Staver, at least one of three primary triggers is in place when a person grow angry:

The person feels the circumstances are unfair.

The person feels the circumstances are out of his or her control.

The person feels the circumstances are personal.”

The strength of the belief influences the seriousness of the violence.

“The more intensely the person feels these factors, the worse the violence can get,”
Stover said. “Naturally, if you see these triggers in a coworker or employee,
you should be very concerned.”

“Workplace Violence Triggers, Warning Signs and Solutions”
Laura Walter
March 9, 2012

21 Ways To Defuse Anger And Calm People Down
Michael Staver


Barbara Stanwyck was known as “perhaps the kindest person in Hollywood.” She showed interest in everyone, including “the lowest paid stagehand.”

“She did know everybody by name. She made it her business to do that. Because when you do that —
she knew very well — they take extra care of you when you acknowledge the fact that they are there
and you appreciate them.”
Robert Culp

“She knew their families. At the end of the day, she said goodnight to them, everyone. Well, they just
loved her. They’d do anything for her.”
Pat Crowley

Pioneers of Television


“(Nelson) Mandela did form a friendship with a prison guard on Robben Island, but, according to his authorised biography, that was a man called Christo Brand. Brand came to Robben Island in 1978 as an unquestioningly pro-apartheid 18-year-old white prison guard. His experiences with the dignified Mandela brought him to change his views about the man, about racial oppression and his country. The Observer tracked down Brand to his Cape Town home.

‘When I came to the prison, Nelson Mandela was already 60. He was down-to-earth and courteous. He treated me with respect and my respect for him grew. After a while, even though he was a prisoner, a friendship grew. It was a friendship behind bars,’ said Brand, now 47, of the relationship that transformed his life.

Brand came to do ‘favours’ for Mandela, smuggling him the bread and hair pomade that he liked and bringing him messages. He broke the rules to allow Mandela to hold his infant grandson.

‘Mandela was worried that I would get caught and be punished,’ said Brand. ‘He wrote to my wife telling her that I must continue my studies. Even as a prisoner he was encouraging a warder to study.’

“The guard who really was Mandela’s friend”
Andrew Meldrum
The Guardian
May 19, 2007


“I learned from the press that a new Gauleiter [area commander] had been appointed. I decided to pay a courtesy call on him, since his favor or disfavor would determine the success of my endeavor,” (Spanish diplomat) Sanz Briz told (writer Isaac R.) Molho. “I was received by that gentleman . . . in a discourteous–indeed, rude–manner. His first words in a most intemperate tone, were, “What have you come here for?’ I replied, gently and politely, that my presence was prompted by my wish to pay a courtesy call on him. In response, my host changed his tone and said, ‘Pardon my rudeness. So far, all foreign diplomats who have called on me have done so to protest the treatment of the Jews. No one gives a thought to the sufferings of the Hungarians in Transylvania and Bessarabia, which have been invaded by the Soviets, and who are living in the utmost misery.’”

When he returned to his office, Sanz Briz told Molho, ‘I sent [the commander] a polite letter, accompanied by a substantial sum of money, asking that it be used to help the refugees in areas occupied by the Soviet Union.’ From that point on, Sanz Briz could count on the help of the Gauleiter, who expressly ordered his troops to respect all buildings under Spanish sovereignty. The diplomat asked the Hungarian government for permission to protect 200 Jews of Spanish origin. (Actually, it seems that he had found about 50 Sephardic Jews.) The government agreed, on condition that those people be transferred to Spain at the expense of Francisco Franco’s government.’ I accepted the conditions,’ said Sanz Briz. ‘Then, my work became relatively easy.’ The 200 people became 200 families, and the 200 families became an unlimited number.’”

Anuschka Seufert
From Cambio16 news magazine  of Madrid
“Other ‘Schindlers’ Revealed”
World Press Review Magazine
November 1994: pages 44-46


© Paula M. Kramer, 2023
All rights reserved.
November 12, 2023