October 31, 2023

Real world examples of gossip ears networking,
listening to what people say to you and about others.

New examples are added at the bottom of each section.


Choosing Customers

“Your Stress-Free Guide to Getting Rid of Toxic Customers”


Choosing Doctors

4 Reasons to Dump Your Doctor—Now

4. She has a rude staff.
“I can tell what kind of care I’m getting the minute I walk into a doctor’s office, says Lipkin. “The attitude of the staff mirrors the attitude coming from the top.” If the receptionist is obnoxious, it’s a sign that the doctor is trying to get people in and out as quickly as possible.

(Pamela R. Lipkin, New York plastic surgeon)

“Advice docs give their own families”
Halle Levine
Redbook Magazine
November 2002: pages 64+70-72.

Choosing Facebook Friends

Doing research and asking questions can help your understand whom to avoid.
A Facebook post asked a question:
Which mindfulness techniques do you find most effective?
The post offered a number of multiple choice answers, including ‘Other’:
One comment for ‘Other’ was this:
Being a bitch so the undesirable people leave me alone.”
I went to this woman’s page to see how much of a bitch she was. She proved her bitchiness in several posts. She did not allow comments to her posts.
I took note of this post:
Egg yokes are supposed to be red to orange in color.
If the chicken is healthy.
(This expert on eggs doesn’t know how to spell what is inside of an egg.)
I am 72 years old and I once lived on a farm that raised chickens, cows, and pigs. I have never seen a red egg yolk. I did a search and found this information from people who raise chickens:

Does yolk color impact nutritional content?

The nutritional value of an egg can’t be judged solely by yolk color, but darker yolks are usually a good indicator that the hen has been fed a healthy, varied diet. In other words, yolk color doesn’t necessarily impact nutritional value, but it does correspond to the health of the hen herself.”

I sent the woman a direct message saying that this is what I found when I looked up egg yolks. The first sentence of her response was this

“Sounds like you are talking out of both sides of your face.”

Gossip ears networking makes this woman someone to avoid.

1st:  This woman is intentionally bitchy.

2nd:  This woman presents herself as an expert on eggs and chickens, but does not know how to spell the word yolk.

3rd:  She treated me as the source of the information when I was just passing on information I found, information written by people who actually raise chickens and know how to spell the word yolk.

I did not read her last 2 messages to me, but I could see that the last message started with:

“Keep eating your…”

I blocked her. This woman’s words indicate that she is an “undesirable” connection.

Choosing Financial Institutions

“The Oshkosh Area School Board will post a notice next week that it’s accepting proposals for a new banking partner.

Some board members are upset over how the district’s newly hired assistant superintendent was treated by Associated Bank while attempting to cash his very first paycheck.

Back in July, Dr. Sam Coleman says he was turned away at the counter with no explanation while attempting to cash his paycheck at the Associated Bank branch on West 20th Avenue in Oshkosh, the same bank the check is drawn on.

Bank officials would later admit, in a conversation Coleman recorded, that they violated their own policy in not cashing the check. At no time during the transaction did the bank attempt to ask for ID or verify the check with the school district.

Coleman believes his race might have been a factor. District officials say their account at Associated Bank is worth more than $250 million.

“What happened to Dr. Coleman at Associated Bank is inexcusable, and I just want to go on the record as saying that, that is, in fact, the reason why I suggested we switch banks,” said Stephanie Carlin, a member of the Oshkosh Area School Board.”

“Oshkosh Area School Board to accept proposals for a new banking partner”
Jason Zimmerman
GreenBay-Appleton WBAY-TV

Choosing Jobs

If you are a business owner or manager, consider different perspectives. If you don’t, you could create a lose/lose situation. Lynne Curry provides an excellent example.

“Your GM’s decision negatively impacts employee morale. Some employees may quit because of it. Others may feel baffled and disappointed and talk negatively about your restaurant. As a result, some of their family members and friends won’t eat at your restaurant. Others won’t apply for jobs there. She’s created a lose/lose.

What can you do? You can shake off your disappointment, and continue to work hard at your current job so you have a good employee track record, and find a better job.”

“Can Our Manager Take Away a Promised Perk?”
Lynne Curry
Workplace Coach Blog
April 5, 2021


“Mass exodus at Alaska child abuse clinic as former Wisconsin doctor accused of bullying, misdiagnoses”
Brenda Wintrode, Wisconsin Watch
Michelle Theriault Boots, Alaska Daily News
Wisconsin Watch
November 15, 2021


“Reputations are at stake because in this era of interactivity, overworked employees are expressing themselves online. Consider this comment about an engineering company visible to all at feedback site Glassdoor.com. ‘Project managers are overworked by the principals and have no time to mentor and steer young staff people in the right direction who, in turn, are overworked. To top it off, pay is minuscule. Overall, the place is a plantation.’”

“A Bad Place to Be: In Denial About What Workers Want”
Ed Frauenheim
Work In Progress Blog
October 27, 2011


Choosing Strategic Partners

You can also tell a lot about a company by its leader. Dave Sikora, the founder and CEO of Digby, has a good spirit and good attitude. He’s a can-do kind of guy. He knows the space better than most, and that comforts me.”

“Ask Jim McCann”
CEO and Founder 1-800-Flowers.zoom
How can I assess the viability, reputation, and ethics of a potential strategic partner without damaging the relationship?”
Inc. Magazine
May 2009: page 109.


Choosing Where To Spend Your Money

“To maximize Return on Customer a company needs to optimize the mix of short-term profit and long-term value created. But it’s difficult for most firms to think like this because they’re so focused on acquiring new customers—any new customers—and protecting quarterly revenues, (An example: A video store refused to accept the return of a damaged DVD from a friend of ours, a longtime customer, without a receipt—even though its own electronic records confirmed her purchase. Result: It saved the cash it would have had to refund on that purchase but lost perhaps a hundred times that amount in customer lifetime value.)”

“Customers Don’t Grow on Trees”
Don Peppers
Martha Rogers
Fast Company Magazine


“I can afford Apple, but this kind of dismissive arrogance makes me never want their products,” another user wrote.”

“Tim Cook Gives flippant ‘buy an iPhone’ response to complaints about Apple’s inoperability with Android”
Jacob Seitz
Daily Dot
September 8, 2022


Listening For Red Flags

Scroll down to the bottom of the website to see the list of episodes
Episode 100
Mental Maturity with Dr. Nicole Scott
September 6, 2023
13:10 15:51 (Starts out with accountability that leads into using our ears to listen for red flags.)


© Paula M. Kramer, 2023
All rights reserved.
Updated June 8, 2024.