November 5, 2023

Real world examples of inviting loyalty.

New examples are added at the bottom of the list.


Keep these in mind for all of your loyalty invitations.





“Developing trust: Understand the 4 elements first”
Laurie K.Cure
Chief Learning Officer
June 25, 2021


Inviting loyalty could reduce the chances of people feeling violence triggers.

“While many people believe that violence occurs when people are angry about certain circumstances,
they become angry over that they believe about the circumstances.”

“According to (Mike) Staver, at least one of three primary triggers is in place when a person grow angry:

The person feels the circumstances are unfair.

The person feels the circumstances are out of his or her control.

The person feels the circumstances are personal.”

The strength of the belief influences the seriousness of the violence.

“The more intensely the person feels these factors, the worse the violence can get,”
Stover said. “Naturally, if you see these triggers in a coworker or employee,
you should be very concerned.”

21 Ways To Defuse Anger And Calm People Down
Michael Staver

“What Are The Signs Of Workplace Violence?”
Susan Adams
Forbes Magazine
May 8, 2012

“Workplace Violence Triggers, Warning Signs and Solutions”
Laura Walter
March 9, 2012



Barbara Stanwyck was known as “perhaps the kindest person in Hollywood.” She showed interest in everyone, including “the lowest paid stagehand.”

“She did know everybody by name. She made it her business to do that. Because when you do that —
she knew very well — they take extra care of you when you acknowledge the fact that they are there
and you appreciate them.”
Robert Culp

“She knew their families. At the end of the day, she said goodnight to them, everyone. Well, they just
loved her. They’d do anything for her.”
Pat Crowley

Pioneers of Television


“(Nelson) Mandela did form a friendship with a prison guard on Robben Island, but, according to his authorised biography, that was a man called Christo Brand. Brand came to Robben Island in 1978 as an unquestioningly pro-apartheid 18-year-old white prison guard. His experiences with the dignified Mandela brought him to change his views about the man, about racial oppression and his country. The Observer tracked down Brand to his Cape Town home.

‘When I came to the prison, Nelson Mandela was already 60. He was down-to-earth and courteous. He treated me with respect and my respect for him grew. After a while, even though he was a prisoner, a friendship grew. It was a friendship behind bars,’ said Brand, now 47, of the relationship that transformed his life.

Brand came to do ‘favours’ for Mandela, smuggling him the bread and hair pomade that he liked and bringing him messages. He broke the rules to allow Mandela to hold his infant grandson.

‘Mandela was worried that I would get caught and be punished,’ said Brand. ‘He wrote to my wife telling her that I must continue my studies. Even as a prisoner he was encouraging a warder to study.’

“The guard who really was Mandela’s friend”
Andrew Meldrum
The Guardian
May 19, 2007


“I learned from the press that a new Gauleiter [area commander] had been appointed. I decided to pay a courtesy call on him, since his favor or disfavor would determine the success of my endeavor,” (Spanish diplomat) Sanz Briz told (writer Isaac R.) Molho. “I was received by that gentleman . . . in a discourteous–indeed, rude–manner. His first words in a most intemperate tone, were, “What have you come here for?’ I replied, gently and politely, that my presence was prompted by my wish to pay a courtesy call on him. In response, my host changed his tone and said, ‘Pardon my rudeness. So far, all foreign diplomats who have called on me have done so to protest the treatment of the Jews. No one gives a thought to the sufferings of the Hungarians in Transylvania and Bessarabia, which have been invaded by the Soviets, and who are living in the utmost misery.’”

When he returned to his office, Sanz Briz told Molho, ‘I sent [the commander] a polite letter, accompanied by a substantial sum of money, asking that it be used to help the refugees in areas occupied by the Soviet Union.’ From that point on, Sanz Briz could count on the help of the Gauleiter, who expressly ordered his troops to respect all buildings under Spanish sovereignty. The diplomat asked the Hungarian government for permission to protect 200 Jews of Spanish origin. (Actually, it seems that he had found about 50 Sephardic Jews.) The government agreed, on condition that those people be transferred to Spain at the expense of Francisco Franco’s government.’ I accepted the conditions,’ said Sanz Briz. ‘Then, my work became relatively easy.’ The 200 people became 200 families, and the 200 families became an unlimited number.’”

Anuschka Seufert
From Cambio16 news magazine  of Madrid
“Other ‘Schindlers’ Revealed”
World Press Review Magazine
November 1994: pages 44-46


When Gates took over the Pentagon in December 2006, he quickly demonstrated the diplomatic and political acumen he had acquired as he worked his way up through the intelligence community as the first career officer to become CIA director.

Take, for instance, his decision to court Hillary Clinton when she took over as secretary of state in 2009. One of the few senior Bush holdovers in the new Obama administration, Gates was keenly aware of the tensions between the State and Defense departments built up during the war in Iraq. He invited Clinton to his Pentagon office, and the two ate lunch at a table that belonged to Confederate President Jefferson Davis back when he was U.S. secretary of war.

“I just told her, based on my experience, that how well the administration worked would depend a lot on how well she and I got along together,” Gates recalls. “If we got along, the message would go to the entire bureaucracy—not just our own bureaucracies but the rest of government as well. She totally understood.”

Gates made a calculated—and more public—courtship of her entire agency. “I read in the press, and therefore it must be true, that no secretary of defense had ever been quoted as arguing for a bigger budget for State,” Gates boasts now.

The strategy worked. Clinton and Gates try to get together privately once a week to work out differences between their departments, and working with a younger generation, the two have bonded.”


Chris Mara founded analog recording studio Welcome to 1979 to help “modern musicians accurately re-create classic sounds.”

“Mara quickly found himself garnering referrals from many of the bigger studio managers in Nashville, who didn’t consider him direct competition. But he also relied on building a network with similar vintage studios in other cities. ‘Geography plays a big role in where people record,’ Mara says. ‘An analog studio in Minneapolis isn’t really competition for us even though we pretty much provide the same services.’

In Mara’s estimation, building a competitive network is 80 percent altruism and 20 percent business. ‘All I really want to do is help people,’ he says.

If that means sending a band to someone else’s studio, he’ll do it. The upside, he maintains, is that other analog studio owners remember where the referral came from: ‘It’s not about losing a client, it’s about helping our industry thrive. If I can do that by sending someone to an analog studio 30 miles from his house when mine is a three-hour plane ride away, why would I not do that? They’ll eventually do the same thing for me. Happens all the time.”

“Harmonious collaborations”
Erika Napoletano
Entrepreneur Magazine
August 2012: page 26.


Advice for children about school cliques can be adapted for adults and workplace cliques

Challenging Cliques
Allow a little conformity

Most children desperately want to be accepted. If a different haircut or style of pants is affordable and will make them feel less excluded, there’s no reason to forbid it. In fact, having the right ‘uniform’ can give a child leverage to do something really important, such as sticking up for someone who’s being picked on. This doesn’t mean third-grader has to face down a clique leader (touch for even the bravest). But he might go beyond just standing by—and invite a less popular child to sit at his lunch table, for instance, or have a playdate after school.”

Children who stand up for clique outsiders invite loyalty. Since more children are outside the clique than inside the clique, the loyalty benefits from outsiders are greater than the loyalty benefits from insiders. You cannot tell what someone could do for your life just by looking at them.

“Coping with Cliques”
Laurel Graeber
Parents Magazine
October 2002: Pages 245-246.

AIDS patients will probably never be considered popular. As a single woman, Diana Spencer could do little to improve life for people with AIDS. Once she joined the British Royal Family clique and followed those rules, however, Princess Diana was able to improve life for people with AIDS. She did so with handshakes and hugs, inviting loyalty from around the world.

“On 1 July 2021, it would’ve been Princess Diana’s 60th birthday. In honour of the occasion, I believe it’s important to look back at the momentous impact she had on public perceptions of HIV and celebrate her legacy. Because, with every gloveless handshake and every hug, she helped to challenge the hysteria and fear which was rife at the time. I truly believe we wouldn’t be where we are today without her.”

“How Princess Diana challenged HIV stigma with every hug”
Ian Green, Chief Executive
Together We Can
June 30, 2021

Inviting loyalty from the people around you brings loyalty to you when your life crashes.

SexyCoolLounge Podcast With Host Jimmy IV
Scroll down to the bottom of the web page to the episodes list
Episode 112
The Sky Is Not The Limit, with Special Host ~ Jess Marie
January 2, 2024
11:43 to 14:05


© Paula M. Kramer, 2023
All rights reserved.
Updated February 14, 2024.