Strategies For Your Self: The Art Of Manliness Podcast With Host Brett McKaya

The Art of Manliness Podcast aims to deepen and improve every area of a man’s life,
from fitness and philosophy, to relationships and productivity.

Advice

Podcast #46
Mastery with Robert Greene
May 20, 2013 * Last updated September 21, 2021

6 steps of mastery

Importance of drudgery

Finding a mentor

Podcast #60
The Way of the Seal with Mark Divine
March 21, 2014 * Last updated September 27, 2021

Meditating for mental resilience

Establishing your Set Point

Developing situational awareness

Developing intuition

Podcast #62
Play It Away with Charlie Hoehn
April 4, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021

Preventing yourself from playing

Feeling guilty about having fun

Viewing the world as a playground and everyone in it as a potential playmate

Potential playmates playing back and changing everything

Seeing play as a productivity hack

Overcoming anxiety through improved sleep and nutrition

Podcast #65
The Obstacle Is the Way With Ryan Holiday
April 26, 2014 * Last updated September 27, 2021

Controlling yourself because you can’t control the world

Perception

Action

Will

War winning strategies are not combat between entrenched forces

Quick maneuvers where you are strong and others are weak

Flip your thinking for benefits today

Podcast #70
Modules For Manhood With Kenneth W. Royce
June 1, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021

Downhill path: easy, wide, and well lit

Uphill path: narrow, tangly, lonely

Develop soft skills first

Learn 3 new skills every year

Podcast #77
Mindwise With Juliana Schroeder
August 19, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021

Mind reading

Status increase can lead to dehumanization increase

Omission

Commission

Norms for talking or not talking

Perspective getting instead of perspective taking

Similarities outweigh differences

“,,,everyone prefers a mate that is kind and intelligent and competent.”

Motivation makes men as good at intuition as women

This episode explains the benefits of one of my favorite activities —
talking to strangers.

BENEFITS FOR ME FROM TALKING TO STRANGERS
Chit chatting with a wide variety of people in a wide variety of situations
cultivates the confidence to make connections with
specific people in specific situations for career conversations.

Podcast #88
How to Change the Stories You Tell About Yourself with Dr. Tim Wilson
November 8, 2014 * Last updated September 27, 2021.

Distraction after a turbulent event instead of talking about a traumatic event

 Writing exercises weeks later if still bothered

Story editing about your life

Do-good-be-good

George Bailey effect

Self-affirmation stories for children in school

Podcast #95
Follow Your Curiosity With Brian Koppelman
January 6, 2015 * Last updated September 27, 2021

Switching jobs for curiosity

Figuring out how to live as a creative person

Identifying concerted, effortful ways to chase down what you believe you have to do
without giving up on your responsibilities

Taking incremental but determined steps

Grappling with rejection and feedback

Recognizing what will keep your interest

Podcast #104
The Code of Man With Waller Newell
March 5, 2015 * last updated: September 28, 2021

Balancing mind and passion, self-control and desire

Five-fold path to achieve emotional, erotic, and spiritual satisfaction

Podcast #107
The Champion’s Blueprint with Dr. Jeff Spencer
March 28, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021

Readiness for pivotal moments that occur each year

Success is a skill

Champion: Delivering on a promise of their skill and talent and a bigger and better future and
contribution to other people

Readiness for pivotal moments to avoid preventable problems

8 steps in a champion blueprint

Pitfalls of success

See the punch that’s coming

Protect and preserve your path to maintain your momentum

Personal team

Tribe

Cornerman

Family

Performance team

Daily routine to start the day from mental and physical strength

Examples of Paths To Spectacular Success

Podcast #135
Inventing an Authentic Life With Eric Wilson
September 3, 2015 * Last updated: July 2, 2023

Creating your authentic self

Inventing fresh narratives to make sense the flux of life experiences

Philosophy of playfulness

Universal expression of grounded beings

Opening yourself to the wonders of the world

Think of your life as an art form

Reinterpreting difficulties in your life

Podcast #147
The Importance of Developing a Growth Mindset
October 15, 2015 * Last updated: September 10, 2023

From fixed mindset to growth mindset

Fixed mindset in some areas or our lives

Grow mindset in other areas of our lives

Naming your fixed mindset so you can understand it and work with it

Podcast #212
Ego Is the Enemy
June 23, 2016 * Lat updated: September 28, 2021

Adapt and change

3 part structure of ego

Purpose over passion

Getting in the way of success

Purpose: deliberative, patient, controlled

Passion: zealous, unrestrained

John Boyd: “To be or to do?”

“To be somebody or to do something. In life there is often a roll call. That’s when you will have to make a decision. To be or to do? Which way will you go?”

 

Behavior

Podcast #53
Experimenting With Your Life with A.J. Jacobs
November 8, 2013 * Last updated September 27, 2021

Choosing an experiment

Acting your way into a new way of thinking

Improving the brain with small changes

Podcast #105
Resilience With Eric Greitens
March 12, 2015 * Last updated: July 2, 2023

Preventing people from taking advantage of you

Uneven resilience or uneven courage

Courage in one context, cowardliness in another

Facing fear to practice resilience

Podcast #108
The Upside of Your Dark Side With Todd Kashdan
April 2, 2016 * Last updat4d: September 28, 2021

Times can be slightly different on different platforms.

Incubating creativity
Listen for: “There’s a big thing that we know about creativity, and almost every business organization gets this wrong.”
About 25:22 to about 26:44

Caveat for anger / productive anger / effective anger
Listen for: “What about anger? That’s something else that’s often directed toward men.”
About 29:45 to about 35:45

Gossip ears networking
Listen for: “If you’re in a group setting and everybody’s agreeing about an issue, you can actually gain a great amount of leverage…”
About 46:26 to about 47:04

Podcast #121
Strategic and Critical Thinking With Tom Ruby
July 5, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021

Linking the end you want to the means you have

Learning as much as you can about many different things

Finding an alternative path for slow meaningful change instead of sudden disruptive change

Presenting ideas with evidence

Lifting people up by empowering them to try their own ideas and tactics

Finding out what each individual does best, then putting them where what they do best is needed most

Blooming where you are

Podcast #124
Self-Discipline & Personal Effectiveness With Rory Vaden
July 23, 2015 * Lat updated: September 28, 2021

Taking the stairs to success

Crushing it where you’re at

Asking how questions for the pivot point

Procrastinating on purpose

Multiplying your time

Leveraging focus and intensity for harvest seasons

Using the significance calculation to multiply your time

Giving yourself the emotional permission to spend time on things today that create more time tomorrow

Using a focus funnel

Saying no nicely

Podcast #149
Taking Action in an Uncertain and Hack-Focused World
October 24, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021

Startup culture sexy tax: decreased returns and increased competition

Asking the boring questions that grow your business

Payoffs after grind and boring plateaus

Motivation to action

Tricking yourself into taking action that would be good for you but that threatens your personal identity

Motivation, passion, and purpose follow actions

Starting your project to discover your rituals

Setting systems instead of setting goals (process over results)

One size does not fit all

Actions invigorate plans

Minimal planning to set you in the right direction

Managing uncertainties

Tying emotions to things you control

Giving yourself more options to choose from

Making small bets / experiments

Being open to opportunities

Hacking for a specific outcome over hacking for the sake of hacking

6 ways hacking perverts your perspective

Self-trust for mental models

Podcast #168
The Value of Deep Work in the Age of Distraction
January 12, 2016 * Last updated September 28, 2021

Setting yourself apart in your career

Doing deep work to get promoted

Deep work becoming more rare and thus more valuable

Crossfit for your mind

3 commitments for living a deep life

Note

Deep work is more difficult for women, of course.
Men frequently interrupt women when they are talking,
so it follows that men would interrupt women’s deep work.
It’s called ‘manterrupting.’

I once devised a strategy for ending interruptions from
the dozens of women and men in my office.
Both male managers respected my strategy.

In 2000, I was payroll supervisor for a regional office
of the U.S. Census Bureau. One day a week,
I had to complete all of my weekly tasks and
submit the payroll to Washington D.C.
It was difficult to complete those tasks
with people interrupting my focus to ask
questions or start discussions that had nothing to do with payroll.
I came up with a visual solution.

I own a collection of vintage hats. I brought a hat to payroll day
and announced that while I was wearing the hat,
I was off limits for questions or discussions. It worked wonderfully well.
No one approached me while I was wearing my hats for the rest of that decennial census.

I was more effective completing my weekly tasks.
I was more effective with the questions and
discussions after sending off payroll.
Plus, I enjoyed wearing my hats and people enjoyed seeing the variety of hats.

Better interactions with coworkers improves life for you men, as well.

 

Podcast #193
F*ck Feelings
April 18, 2016 * Last updated: September 28, 2021

Focusing on what you can control

Focusing on the process, what you do with what you’ve got for what you value

Social process business

Luck has a significant contribution in businesses with social processes.

Successful, thoughtful people acknowledge the role of luck.

Luck exists when 3 conditions are in place

Mistaking success from skill rather than from luck

A super star in one setting is seldom a super star in other settings

Interaction effect

Hindering effect of cumulative advantage and power laws

Success = skills x opportunity set

Managing luck

Stronger player simplifies

Weaker player complicates

Podcast #227
The Art & Science of Loving the Place You Live
August 19, 2016 * Last updated: September 29, 2021

Making the best of where you live

Becoming settled

Movers and stayers

Heart home

Place attached

Staying better for introverts

Perception of place

Walking and biking for developing mental maps and making connections

Buying local

Reducing crime by knowing more neighbors

Paying attention to what your town is good at

Placemaking for the better

 

Career

Podcast #78
The Myth of Following Your Passion
August 22, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021

2 strikes against following passion

3 different things to consider about following your passion

3 general traits to maximize for passion to follow

Craftsman mindset versus passion mindset

Developing career capital with the craftsman mindset

Relevant, rare, and valuable skills

Courage after career capital

Podcast #92
Networking Without “Networking” With John Corcoran
December 8, 2014 * Last Updated September 27, 2021

Networking by staying in touch with former coworkers

Building a relationship takes time

Initial connection, following up, keeping them in your life

Plan ahead

Taking an interest, picking up details, finding a way to add value

Define the people you want to build relationships with

Creating gratitude through introductions, but ask before introducing

Five Minute Favor

Approaching higher ups with the word on the street

Keeping it personal, stupid.
(Positivity promoter me prefers this: Keep it personal, sweetheart.)

Podcast #184
Harnessing Behavioral Psychology for a Rich Life
March 18, 2016 * Last updated: July 2, 2023

Invisible scripts

Negotiating for a raise with with a different approach

Tripod of stability

Failure expectations

Talking to top performers

Crawl, walk, run

Discipline and systems

Testing different approaches for your systems to see what works

Podcast #191
How to Find the Work You Were Meant to Do
April 11, 2016 * Last updated: September 28, 2021

Think like a multi-faceted janitor (hands into everything and knowing everyone)

Follow your skill

Be helpful, useful

3 ingredients for choosing a successful career

Improve your chances of winning the career lottery by increasing confidence.

Learn from mistakes and try something new.

Stand out in a job market by improving your soft skills

Use your weak-tie network to get your resume in the back door

Design your dream job within your organization with your technical, leadership. and soft skills.

Entrepreneurial, back door thinking

Be an indispensable, reliable, go-to person

Side hustle importance

 

Career & Wealth

Podcast #206
Extreme Ownership
June 3, 2016 * Last updated: September 28, 2021

SEAL Team examples

Taking responsibility for every mistake and problem

Commander’s intent with reasons why for the ultimate goal

OODA loop from John Boyd, best Air Force pilot ever

Freedom through discipline

Podcst #222
The Laws of Wealth
August 2, 2016 * Last updated September 29, 2021

Character

Podcast #61
The Power of Habit With Charles Duhigg
March 29, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021

How changing habit cues in Iraq stopped riots

Changing “the habit loop” to change your habits

Understanding how practicing belief can lead to success in ending bad habits

Podcast #162
Digital Manners & Etiquette For the Modern Man
December 11, 2015 * Last updated: July 2, 2023

Manners and principles

Consideration, respect, honesty for yourself and others

Platinum rule

Self-assessment tools

Relationships skills

Social Skills

Opportunity skills

Checking in on a regular basis

Gender neutrality in business etiquette

Generational differences

Teaching what worked in the past

Asking permission to perform traditional courtesy

Owing attention to the people you are with

Emails as letters

Setting digital expectations at the beginning of relationships

 

Entertainment

Podcast #144
Living the Braveheart Life
October 6, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021

Overcoming pain and emotions and being honest instead of ignoring pain and emotions and being dishonest

Cultivating both hard and soft virtues

 

Fitness

Podcast #63
Spartan Up With Joe DeSena
April 12, 2014 * Last updated. October 1, 2021

Best workers for physical labor come from other countries where they had “tough upbringing”

Changing frames of reference for what’s important and what’s not can make the world a better place

Spartan race as new lifestyle

Making a commitment and sticking to it

Podcast #195
How to Live Like an Ancient Greek Hero
April 24, 2016 * Late updated: September 28, 2021

Making heroism a statistical probability

Misfit soldiers kidnapping a Nazi General

Burnishing common skills to be practical in a crisis

Strengths (physical capability)
Skill (intellectual skills)
Compassion (connections to fellow humans)

Note

Satisfying physical, mental, and emotional needs 
at the same time can transform behavior.

Using your developed physical, mental, and emotional skills 
during a crisis is one way to take as much positive control 
as you can in that situation.

 

Health

Podcast #113
The Evolutionary Origins of Depression With Jonathan Rottenberg
May 9, 2015 * Last updated: September 29, 2021

Defining depression to guide you to a solution

Stopping and pausing after a death

Mood as response to a situation

Diversity of meaningful interests for coping with depression

Changing moods by changing thoughts, physical activity, social environment, goals

Therapy goal to be satisfied with your life

Differences in responses to male or female depression

Podcast #115
The Slumbering Masses With Matthew J. Wolf-Meyer
May 21, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021

Industrial capitalism’s effect on sleep.

Biphasic sleep

Consolidated sleep

Sleeping disorders as social problems

 

Manly Know-How

Note

People

Podcast #72
The Charisma Myth with Olivia Fox
June 14, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021

Charisma as learned behavior

Pillars of charisma

Presence

Power

Warmth

Eyes

Voice

Problems charisma creates

Focus charisma

Visionary charisma

Authority charisma

Warmth charisma

Seductive charisma

Superstar charisma

Charisma style according to situation

Note

Power means self-confidence.
For anyone feeling the impostor syndrome, remember this:

My other recommendation for gaining self-confidence
is to get yourself some street cred in an opposite role.

Podcast #164
How to Wow in Relationships and Business
December 20, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021

Body language, clothing, tone of voice

Same principles for different situations

Tools for days you don’t feel your best

3 components of messages

Talk to mirrors on phone calls

Make hands visible

Be committed to what you’re talking about

Tell stories about why something is

Tell stories during introductions to create common ground

Use the words ‘you’ and ‘because’

Double check your own perceptions

Ask questions

Job interview strategies

Pick 3 small talk topics ahead of time that allow other people to be an authority and talk about themselves

Podcast #176
The Vanishing Neighbor & The Transformation of American Community
February 10, 2016 * Last updated: September 28, 2021

Do you have the grit to handle a disagreement?

Do you have the grit to control your impulses?

Do you have the grit to develop the middle ring relationships?

People who have that grit are more successful in life.

And also…

Flagging conversations

Transitioning to a new topic

Job interviews

Insecurities (stuttering, height, last name)