Open doors with smiles, hellos, and waves.
Example #1: Company Employee
This was my first encouraging good gossip strategy. I used it when I was 18 years old and on my first full time job.
I was friendly with a woman who worked at the same company, though in a different department. We saw each other occasionally as we walked around the office. One day I came across her crying in a back hallway. I pulled her into the nearby stairwell, saying that was where I went to cry. She finished crying and thanked me. I waved and smiled and said hello every time I say her.
She suddenly became cold to me, refusing to acknowledge any of my friendliness. I kept smiling and waving and saying hello when I saw her. After about a week, she was friendly again. She stayed friendly for the rest of my time at that company.
This situation followed the use of my first discouraging bad gossip strategy,
Example #2: Community Resident
When I was new to living in my village, I met a village resident I saw as cold and aloof. We saw each other occasionally. I was friendly to her whenever I saw her, even though I considered her cold and aloof. Years later, I learned that during the time I considered her cold and aloof she was going through a series of personal tragedies. The woman wasn’t cold and aloof, she was doing her best to get through each excruciating minute of her life.
After her emotional turmoil subsided, she remembered my continuing friendliness. She was willing and able to have warm conversations with me. She even went out of her way to be thoughtful with me when a particular situation came up. The benefit of her thoughtfulness stayed with me for years.
Example #3: Community Acquaintance
An acquaintance and I were friendly whenever we met in public, exchanging greetings and tidbits about our lives. Suddenly, this acquaintance began ignoring all of my attempts to be friendly. It got so bad that she wouldn’t even acknowledge my presence when we walked right past each other. I saw every encounter with her as an opportunity to open a door with a smile and hello or a smile and wave. For years, I opened every door I could with my acquaintance, just smiling, saying hello, or waving hello.
Finally, my acquaintance smiled and said hello back. We’ve been friendly again for years now. We’ve had more detailed conversations than we had before. I have not asked her about the changes in her responses to me. I’m just happy to be her friendly acquaintance again. I look forward to every chance for conversation.
© Paula M. Kramer, 2021 to the present
All rights reserved.