Strategies For Your Self: The Art Of Manliness Podcast With Host Brett McKaya
The Art of Manliness Podcast aims to deepen and improve every area of a man’s life,
from fitness and philosophy, to relationships and productivity.
Advice
Podcast #46
Mastery with Robert Greene
May 20, 2013 * Last updated September 21, 2021
6 steps of mastery
Importance of drudgery
Finding a mentor
Podcast #60
The Way of the Seal with Mark Divine
March 21, 2014 * Last updated September 27, 2021
Meditating for mental resilience
Establishing your Set Point
Developing situational awareness
Developing intuition
Podcast #62
Play It Away with Charlie Hoehn
April 4, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021
Preventing yourself from playing
Feeling guilty about having fun
Viewing the world as a playground and everyone in it as a potential playmate
Potential playmates playing back and changing everything
Seeing play as a productivity hack
Overcoming anxiety through improved sleep and nutrition
Podcast #65
The Obstacle Is the Way With Ryan Holiday
April 26, 2014 * Last updated September 27, 2021
Controlling yourself because you can’t control the world
Perception
Action
Will
War winning strategies are not combat between entrenched forces
Quick maneuvers where you are strong and others are weak
Flip your thinking for benefits today
Podcast #70
Modules For Manhood With Kenneth W. Royce
June 1, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021
Downhill path: easy, wide, and well lit
Uphill path: narrow, tangly, lonely
Develop soft skills first
Learn 3 new skills every year
Podcast #77
Mindwise With Juliana Schroeder
August 19, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021
Mind reading
Status increase can lead to dehumanization increase
Omission
Commission
Norms for talking or not talking
Perspective getting instead of perspective taking
Similarities outweigh differences
“,,,everyone prefers a mate that is kind and intelligent and competent.”
Motivation makes men as good at intuition as women
This episode explains the benefits of one of my favorite activities —
talking to strangers.
BENEFITS FOR ME FROM TALKING TO STRANGERS
Chit chatting with a wide variety of people in a wide variety of situations
cultivates the confidence to make connections with
specific people in specific situations for career conversations.
Podcast #88
How to Change the Stories You Tell About Yourself with Dr. Tim Wilson
November 8, 2014 * Last updated September 27, 2021.
Distraction after a turbulent event instead of talking about a traumatic event
Writing exercises weeks later if still bothered
Story editing about your life
Do-good-be-good
George Bailey effect
Self-affirmation stories for children in school
Podcast #95
Follow Your Curiosity With Brian Koppelman
January 6, 2015 * Last updated September 27, 2021
Switching jobs for curiosity
Figuring out how to live as a creative person
Identifying concerted, effortful ways to chase down what you believe you have to do
without giving up on your responsibilities
Taking incremental but determined steps
Grappling with rejection and feedback
Recognizing what will keep your interest
Podcast #104
The Code of Man With Waller Newell
March 5, 2015 * last updated: September 28, 2021
Balancing mind and passion, self-control and desire
Five-fold path to achieve emotional, erotic, and spiritual satisfaction
Podcast #107
The Champion’s Blueprint with Dr. Jeff Spencer
March 28, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Readiness for pivotal moments that occur each year
Success is a skill
Champion: Delivering on a promise of their skill and talent and a bigger and better future and
contribution to other people
Readiness for pivotal moments to avoid preventable problems
8 steps in a champion blueprint
Pitfalls of success
See the punch that’s coming
Protect and preserve your path to maintain your momentum
Personal team
Tribe
Cornerman
Family
Performance team
Daily routine to start the day from mental and physical strength
Examples of Paths To Spectacular Success
Podcast #135
Inventing an Authentic Life With Eric Wilson
September 3, 2015 * Last updated: July 2, 2023
Creating your authentic self
Inventing fresh narratives to make sense the flux of life experiences
Philosophy of playfulness
Universal expression of grounded beings
Opening yourself to the wonders of the world
Think of your life as an art form
Reinterpreting difficulties in your life
Podcast #147
The Importance of Developing a Growth Mindset
October 15, 2015 * Last updated: September 10, 2023
From fixed mindset to growth mindset
Fixed mindset in some areas or our lives
Grow mindset in other areas of our lives
Naming your fixed mindset so you can understand it and work with it
Podcast #212
Ego Is the Enemy
June 23, 2016 * Lat updated: September 28, 2021
Adapt and change
3 part structure of ego
Purpose over passion
Getting in the way of success
Purpose: deliberative, patient, controlled
Passion: zealous, unrestrained
John Boyd: “To be or to do?”
“To be somebody or to do something. In life there is often a roll call. That’s when you will have to make a decision. To be or to do? Which way will you go?”
Behavior
Podcast #53
Experimenting With Your Life with A.J. Jacobs
November 8, 2013 * Last updated September 27, 2021
Choosing an experiment
Acting your way into a new way of thinking
Improving the brain with small changes
Podcast #105
Resilience With Eric Greitens
March 12, 2015 * Last updated: July 2, 2023
Preventing people from taking advantage of you
Uneven resilience or uneven courage
Courage in one context, cowardliness in another
Facing fear to practice resilience
Podcast #108
The Upside of Your Dark Side With Todd Kashdan
April 2, 2016 * Last updat4d: September 28, 2021
Times can be slightly different on different platforms.
Incubating creativity
Listen for: “There’s a big thing that we know about creativity, and almost every business organization gets this wrong.”
About 25:22 to about 26:44
Caveat for anger / productive anger / effective anger
Listen for: “What about anger? That’s something else that’s often directed toward men.”
About 29:45 to about 35:45
Gossip ears networking
Listen for: “If you’re in a group setting and everybody’s agreeing about an issue, you can actually gain a great amount of leverage…”
About 46:26 to about 47:04
Podcast #121
Strategic and Critical Thinking With Tom Ruby
July 5, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Linking the end you want to the means you have
Learning as much as you can about many different things
Finding an alternative path for slow meaningful change instead of sudden disruptive change
Presenting ideas with evidence
Lifting people up by empowering them to try their own ideas and tactics
Finding out what each individual does best, then putting them where what they do best is needed most
Blooming where you are
Podcast #124
Self-Discipline & Personal Effectiveness With Rory Vaden
July 23, 2015 * Lat updated: September 28, 2021
Taking the stairs to success
Crushing it where you’re at
Asking how questions for the pivot point
Procrastinating on purpose
Multiplying your time
Leveraging focus and intensity for harvest seasons
Using the significance calculation to multiply your time
Giving yourself the emotional permission to spend time on things today that create more time tomorrow
Using a focus funnel
Saying no nicely
Podcast #149
Taking Action in an Uncertain and Hack-Focused World
October 24, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Startup culture sexy tax: decreased returns and increased competition
Asking the boring questions that grow your business
Payoffs after grind and boring plateaus
Motivation to action
Tricking yourself into taking action that would be good for you but that threatens your personal identity
Motivation, passion, and purpose follow actions
Starting your project to discover your rituals
Setting systems instead of setting goals (process over results)
One size does not fit all
Actions invigorate plans
Minimal planning to set you in the right direction
Managing uncertainties
Tying emotions to things you control
Giving yourself more options to choose from
Making small bets / experiments
Being open to opportunities
Hacking for a specific outcome over hacking for the sake of hacking
6 ways hacking perverts your perspective
Self-trust for mental models
Podcast #168
The Value of Deep Work in the Age of Distraction
January 12, 2016 * Last updated September 28, 2021
Setting yourself apart in your career
Doing deep work to get promoted
Deep work becoming more rare and thus more valuable
Crossfit for your mind
3 commitments for living a deep life
Note
Deep work is more difficult for women, of course.
Men frequently interrupt women when they are talking,
so it follows that men would interrupt women’s deep work.
It’s called ‘manterrupting.’
I once devised a strategy for ending interruptions from
the dozens of women and men in my office.
Both male managers respected my strategy.
In 2000, I was payroll supervisor for a regional office
of the U.S. Census Bureau. One day a week,
I had to complete all of my weekly tasks and
submit the payroll to Washington D.C.
It was difficult to complete those tasks
with people interrupting my focus to ask
questions or start discussions that had nothing to do with payroll.
I came up with a visual solution.
I own a collection of vintage hats. I brought a hat to payroll day
and announced that while I was wearing the hat,
I was off limits for questions or discussions. It worked wonderfully well.
No one approached me while I was wearing my hats for the rest of that decennial census.
I was more effective completing my weekly tasks.
I was more effective with the questions and
discussions after sending off payroll.
Plus, I enjoyed wearing my hats and people enjoyed seeing the variety of hats.
Better interactions with coworkers improves life for you men, as well.
Podcast #193
F*ck Feelings
April 18, 2016 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Focusing on what you can control
Focusing on the process, what you do with what you’ve got for what you value
Podcast #204
How to Be Miserable
May 26, 2016 * Last Updated: September 28, 2021
Maximizing __________________
Minimizing __________________
Are you already deciding that cloudy and rainy days are gloomy?
Darn.
You’ll have to think of something new to feel gloomy about.
VAPID goals vs. SMART goals
Comparing __________________
No __________________
Contributing factors for choosing to be miserable
I’m not the __________________
What would you do if you were __________________
Podcast #210
Got Grit?
June 16, 2016 * Last updated: September 10, 2023
Grit scale
Making practice a habit
3 steps for teaching grit to your children
Seahawk coach Pete Carroll’s Commander’s Intent (Podcast #206) in short phrases
Podcast #224
Why Smart People Do Dumb Things
August 9, 2016 * Last updated: September 29, 2021
Asking process questions
Sociology of thresholds
Choosing a college according to your confidence
Would you write a check to a billionaire?
Podcast #226
The Success Equation
August 17, 2016 * Last updated: September 29, 2021
Social process business
Luck has a significant contribution in businesses with social processes.
Successful, thoughtful people acknowledge the role of luck.
Luck exists when 3 conditions are in place
Mistaking success from skill rather than from luck
A super star in one setting is seldom a super star in other settings
Interaction effect
Hindering effect of cumulative advantage and power laws
Success = skills x opportunity set
Managing luck
Stronger player simplifies
Weaker player complicates
Podcast #227
The Art & Science of Loving the Place You Live
August 19, 2016 * Last updated: September 29, 2021
Making the best of where you live
Becoming settled
Movers and stayers
Heart home
Place attached
Staying better for introverts
Perception of place
Walking and biking for developing mental maps and making connections
Buying local
Reducing crime by knowing more neighbors
Paying attention to what your town is good at
Placemaking for the better
Career
Podcast #78
The Myth of Following Your Passion
August 22, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021
2 strikes against following passion
3 different things to consider about following your passion
3 general traits to maximize for passion to follow
Craftsman mindset versus passion mindset
Developing career capital with the craftsman mindset
Relevant, rare, and valuable skills
Courage after career capital
Podcast #92
Networking Without “Networking” With John Corcoran
December 8, 2014 * Last Updated September 27, 2021
Networking by staying in touch with former coworkers
Building a relationship takes time
Initial connection, following up, keeping them in your life
Plan ahead
Taking an interest, picking up details, finding a way to add value
Define the people you want to build relationships with
Creating gratitude through introductions, but ask before introducing
Five Minute Favor
Approaching higher ups with the word on the street
Keeping it personal, stupid.
(Positivity promoter me prefers this: Keep it personal, sweetheart.)
Podcast #184
Harnessing Behavioral Psychology for a Rich Life
March 18, 2016 * Last updated: July 2, 2023
Invisible scripts
Negotiating for a raise with with a different approach
Tripod of stability
Failure expectations
Talking to top performers
Crawl, walk, run
Discipline and systems
Testing different approaches for your systems to see what works
Podcast #191
How to Find the Work You Were Meant to Do
April 11, 2016 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Think like a multi-faceted janitor (hands into everything and knowing everyone)
Follow your skill
Be helpful, useful
3 ingredients for choosing a successful career
Improve your chances of winning the career lottery by increasing confidence.
Learn from mistakes and try something new.
Stand out in a job market by improving your soft skills
Use your weak-tie network to get your resume in the back door
Design your dream job within your organization with your technical, leadership. and soft skills.
Entrepreneurial, back door thinking
Be an indispensable, reliable, go-to person
Side hustle importance
Career & Wealth
Podcast #206
Extreme Ownership
June 3, 2016 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
SEAL Team examples
Taking responsibility for every mistake and problem
Commander’s intent with reasons why for the ultimate goal
OODA loop from John Boyd, best Air Force pilot ever
Freedom through discipline
Podcst #222
The Laws of Wealth
August 2, 2016 * Last updated September 29, 2021
Investment behavior
Personal risk tolerance
Goals based on investing
Small stock performance over time
Cheap stock performance over expensive stocks
Character
Podcast #61
The Power of Habit With Charles Duhigg
March 29, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021
How changing habit cues in Iraq stopped riots
Changing “the habit loop” to change your habits
Understanding how practicing belief can lead to success in ending bad habits
Podcast #162
Digital Manners & Etiquette For the Modern Man
December 11, 2015 * Last updated: July 2, 2023
Manners and principles
Consideration, respect, honesty for yourself and others
Platinum rule
Self-assessment tools
Relationships skills
Social Skills
Opportunity skills
Checking in on a regular basis
Gender neutrality in business etiquette
Generational differences
Teaching what worked in the past
Asking permission to perform traditional courtesy
Owing attention to the people you are with
Emails as letters
Setting digital expectations at the beginning of relationships
Entertainment
Podcast #144
Living the Braveheart Life
October 6, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Overcoming pain and emotions and being honest instead of ignoring pain and emotions and being dishonest
Cultivating both hard and soft virtues
Fitness
Podcast #63
Spartan Up With Joe DeSena
April 12, 2014 * Last updated. October 1, 2021
Best workers for physical labor come from other countries where they had “tough upbringing”
Changing frames of reference for what’s important and what’s not can make the world a better place
Spartan race as new lifestyle
Making a commitment and sticking to it
Podcast #195
How to Live Like an Ancient Greek Hero
April 24, 2016 * Late updated: September 28, 2021
Making heroism a statistical probability
Misfit soldiers kidnapping a Nazi General
Burnishing common skills to be practical in a crisis
Strengths (physical capability)
Skill (intellectual skills)
Compassion (connections to fellow humans)
Note
Satisfying physical, mental, and emotional needs
at the same time can transform behavior.
Using your developed physical, mental, and emotional skills
during a crisis is one way to take as much positive control
as you can in that situation.
Health
Podcast #113
The Evolutionary Origins of Depression With Jonathan Rottenberg
May 9, 2015 * Last updated: September 29, 2021
Defining depression to guide you to a solution
Stopping and pausing after a death
Mood as response to a situation
Diversity of meaningful interests for coping with depression
Changing moods by changing thoughts, physical activity, social environment, goals
Therapy goal to be satisfied with your life
Differences in responses to male or female depression
Podcast #115
The Slumbering Masses With Matthew J. Wolf-Meyer
May 21, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Industrial capitalism’s effect on sleep.
Biphasic sleep
Consolidated sleep
Sleeping disorders as social problems
Manly Know-How
Turning Yourself Into a Human Weapon
May 6, 2016 * Last updated: September 29, 2021Note:
Note
including videos by Pat Mac. I will watch more videos and
watch all of them repeatedly until I am mentally prepared.
The defensive moves are easy once you know what to do.
They are extensions of normal movements.
SPEAR (Spontaneous Protection Enabling Accelerated Response)Bruce Lee inspiration
Understanding fear and situational awareness
Managing fear to optimize performance
Difference between victims and victors
When self-defense tools (skills) fail
Startle / flinch response
Verbal defusing (soft or hard)
3 categories of self-defense
Situational awareness, how to manage, simple gross motor movements (videos available)
“If danger is imminent, you do everything you can to choose safety.”
Politics, ego, pride hinder safety
Detect, defuse, deescalate
Legal, ethical, legal implications of defending ourselves
Detect
pay attention to bad feelings
Physiology, psychology, behavior
Selling the idea of we don’t want to fight
Kinesiology secret sauce
Every day movements for self-defense
Fighting back instead of cooperating when danger goes from imminent to immediate
People
Podcast #72
The Charisma Myth with Olivia Fox
June 14, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021
Charisma as learned behavior
Pillars of charisma
Presence
Power
Warmth
Eyes
Voice
Problems charisma creates
Focus charisma
Visionary charisma
Authority charisma
Warmth charisma
Seductive charisma
Superstar charisma
Charisma style according to situation
Note
Power means self-confidence.
For anyone feeling the impostor syndrome, remember this:
My other recommendation for gaining self-confidence
is to get yourself some street cred in an opposite role.
Podcast #164
How to Wow in Relationships and Business
December 20, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Body language, clothing, tone of voice
Same principles for different situations
Tools for days you don’t feel your best
3 components of messages
Talk to mirrors on phone calls
Make hands visible
Be committed to what you’re talking about
Tell stories about why something is
Tell stories during introductions to create common ground
Use the words ‘you’ and ‘because’
Double check your own perceptions
Ask questions
Job interview strategies
Pick 3 small talk topics ahead of time that allow other people to be an authority and talk about themselves
Podcast #176
The Vanishing Neighbor & The Transformation of American Community
February 10, 2016 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Do you have the grit to handle a disagreement?
Do you have the grit to control your impulses?
Do you have the grit to develop the middle ring relationships?
People who have that grit are more successful in life.
Podcast #211
Difficult Conversations, Small Talk, and Charisma
June 20, 2016 * Last updated: July 2, 2023
And also…
Flagging conversations
Transitioning to a new topic
Job interviews
Insecurities (stuttering, height, last name)
~~~~~~~~~~
© Paula M. Kramer, 2023
All rights reserved.
Updated December 19, 2024
The Art of Manliness Podcast aims to deepen and improve every area of a man’s life, from fitness and philosophy, to relationships and productivity.
Bystander Actions
The Art of Manliness Podcast aims to deepen and improve every area of a man’s life,
from fitness and philosophy, to relationships and productivity.
Advice
Podcast #46
Mastery with Robert Greene
May 20, 2013 * Last updated September 21, 2021
6 steps of mastery
Importance of drudgery
Finding a mentor
Podcast #60
The Way of the Seal with Mark Divine
March 21, 2014 * Last updated September 27, 2021
Meditating for mental resilience
Establishing your Set Point
Developing situational awareness
Developing intuition
Podcast #62
Play It Away with Charlie Hoehn
April 4, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021
Preventing yourself from playing
Feeling guilty about having fun
Viewing the world as a playground and everyone in it as a potential playmate
Potential playmates playing back and changing everything
Seeing play as a productivity hack
Overcoming anxiety through improved sleep and nutrition
Podcast #65
The Obstacle Is the Way With Ryan Holiday
April 26, 2014 * Last updated September 27, 2021
Controlling yourself because you can’t control the world
Perception
Action
Will
War winning strategies are not combat between entrenched forces
Quick maneuvers where you are strong and others are weak
Flip your thinking for benefits today
Podcast #70
Modules For Manhood With Kenneth W. Royce
June 1, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021
Downhill path: easy, wide, and well lit
Uphill path: narrow, tangly, lonely
Develop soft skills first
Learn 3 new skills every year
Podcast #77
Mindwise With Juliana Schroeder
August 19, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021
Mind reading
Status increase can lead to dehumanization increase
Omission
Commission
Norms for talking or not talking
Perspective getting instead of perspective taking
Similarities outweigh differences
“,,,everyone prefers a mate that is kind and intelligent and competent.”
Motivation makes men as good at intuition as women
This episode explains the benefits of one of my favorite activities —
talking to strangers.
BENEFITS FOR ME FROM TALKING TO STRANGERS
Chit chatting with a wide variety of people in a wide variety of situations
cultivates the confidence to make connections with
specific people in specific situations for career conversations.
Podcast #88
How to Change the Stories You Tell About Yourself with Dr. Tim Wilson
November 8, 2014 * Last updated September 27, 2021.
Distraction after a turbulent event instead of talking about a traumatic event
Writing exercises weeks later if still bothered
Story editing about your life
Do-good-be-good
George Bailey effect
Self-affirmation stories for children in school
Podcast #95
Follow Your Curiosity With Brian Koppelman
January 6, 2015 * Last updated September 27, 2021
Switching jobs for curiosity
Figuring out how to live as a creative person
Identifying concerted, effortful ways to chase down what you believe you have to do
without giving up on your responsibilities
Taking incremental but determined steps
Grappling with rejection and feedback
Recognizing what will keep your interest
Podcast #104
The Code of Man With Waller Newell
March 5, 2015 * last updated: September 28, 2021
Balancing mind and passion, self-control and desire
Five-fold path to achieve emotional, erotic, and spiritual satisfaction
Podcast #107
The Champion’s Blueprint with Dr. Jeff Spencer
March 28, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Readiness for pivotal moments that occur each year
Success is a skill
Champion: Delivering on a promise of their skill and talent and a bigger and better future and
contribution to other people
Readiness for pivotal moments to avoid preventable problems
8 steps in a champion blueprint
Pitfalls of success
See the punch that’s coming
Protect and preserve your path to maintain your momentum
Personal team
Tribe
Cornerman
Family
Performance team
Daily routine to start the day from mental and physical strength
Examples of Paths To Spectacular Success
Podcast #135
Inventing an Authentic Life With Eric Wilson
September 3, 2015 * Last updated: July 2, 2023
Creating your authentic self
Inventing fresh narratives to make sense the flux of life experiences
Philosophy of playfulness
Universal expression of grounded beings
Opening yourself to the wonders of the world
Think of your life as an art form
Reinterpreting difficulties in your life
Podcast #147
The Importance of Developing a Growth Mindset
October 15, 2015 * Last updated: September 10, 2023
From fixed mindset to growth mindset
Fixed mindset in some areas or our lives
Grow mindset in other areas of our lives
Naming your fixed mindset so you can understand it and work with it
Podcast #212
Ego Is the Enemy
June 23, 2016 * Lat updated: September 28, 2021
Adapt and change
3 part structure of ego
Purpose over passion
Getting in the way of success
Purpose: deliberative, patient, controlled
Passion: zealous, unrestrained
John Boyd: “To be or to do?”
“To be somebody or to do something. In life there is often a roll call. That’s when you will have to make a decision. To be or to do? Which way will you go?”
Behavior
Podcast #53
Experimenting With Your Life with A.J. Jacobs
November 8, 2013 * Last updated September 27, 2021
Choosing an experiment
Acting your way into a new way of thinking
Improving the brain with small changes
Podcast #105
Resilience With Eric Greitens
March 12, 2015 * Last updated: July 2, 2023
Preventing people from taking advantage of you
Uneven resilience or uneven courage
Courage in one context, cowardliness in another
Facing fear to practice resilience
Podcast #108
The Upside of Your Dark Side With Todd Kashdan
April 2, 2016 * Last updat4d: September 28, 2021
Times can be slightly different on different platforms.
Incubating creativity
Listen for: “There’s a big thing that we know about creativity, and almost every business organization gets this wrong.”
About 25:22 to about 26:44
Caveat for anger / productive anger / effective anger
Listen for: “What about anger? That’s something else that’s often directed toward men.”
About 29:45 to about 35:45
Gossip ears networking
Listen for: “If you’re in a group setting and everybody’s agreeing about an issue, you can actually gain a great amount of leverage…”
About 46:26 to about 47:04
Podcast #121
Strategic and Critical Thinking With Tom Ruby
July 5, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Linking the end you want to the means you have
Learning as much as you can about many different things
Finding an alternative path for slow meaningful change instead of sudden disruptive change
Presenting ideas with evidence
Lifting people up by empowering them to try their own ideas and tactics
Finding out what each individual does best, then putting them where what they do best is needed most
Blooming where you are
Podcast #124
Self-Discipline & Personal Effectiveness With Rory Vaden
July 23, 2015 * Lat updated: September 28, 2021
Taking the stairs to success
Crushing it where you’re at
Asking how questions for the pivot point
Procrastinating on purpose
Multiplying your time
Leveraging focus and intensity for harvest seasons
Using the significance calculation to multiply your time
Giving yourself the emotional permission to spend time on things today that create more time tomorrow
Using a focus funnel
Saying no nicely
Podcast #149
Taking Action in an Uncertain and Hack-Focused World
October 24, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Startup culture sexy tax: decreased returns and increased competition
Asking the boring questions that grow your business
Payoffs after grind and boring plateaus
Motivation to action
Tricking yourself into taking action that would be good for you but that threatens your personal identity
Motivation, passion, and purpose follow actions
Starting your project to discover your rituals
Setting systems instead of setting goals (process over results)
One size does not fit all
Actions invigorate plans
Minimal planning to set you in the right direction
Managing uncertainties
Tying emotions to things you control
Giving yourself more options to choose from
Making small bets / experiments
Being open to opportunities
Hacking for a specific outcome over hacking for the sake of hacking
6 ways hacking perverts your perspective
Self-trust for mental models
Podcast #168
The Value of Deep Work in the Age of Distraction
January 12, 2016 * Last updated September 28, 2021
Setting yourself apart in your career
Doing deep work to get promoted
Deep work becoming more rare and thus more valuable
Crossfit for your mind
3 commitments for living a deep life
Note
Deep work is more difficult for women, of course.
Men frequently interrupt women when they are talking,
so it follows that men would interrupt women’s deep work.
It’s called ‘manterrupting.’
I once devised a strategy for ending interruptions from
the dozens of women and men in my office.
Both male managers respected my strategy.
In 2000, I was payroll supervisor for a regional office
of the U.S. Census Bureau. One day a week,
I had to complete all of my weekly tasks and
submit the payroll to Washington D.C.
It was difficult to complete those tasks
with people interrupting my focus to ask
questions or start discussions that had nothing to do with payroll.
I came up with a visual solution.
I own a collection of vintage hats. I brought a hat to payroll day
and announced that while I was wearing the hat,
I was off limits for questions or discussions. It worked wonderfully well.
No one approached me while I was wearing my hats for the rest of that decennial census.
I was more effective completing my weekly tasks.
I was more effective with the questions and
discussions after sending off payroll.
Plus, I enjoyed wearing my hats and people enjoyed seeing the variety of hats.
Better interactions with coworkers improves life for you men, as well.
Podcast #193
F*ck Feelings
April 18, 2016 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Focusing on what you can control
Focusing on the process, what you do with what you’ve got for what you value
Podcast #204
How to Be Miserable
May 26, 2016 * Last Updated: September 28, 2021
Maximizing __________________
Minimizing __________________
Are you already deciding that cloudy and rainy days are gloomy?
Darn.
You’ll have to think of something new to feel gloomy about.
VAPID goals vs. SMART goals
Comparing __________________
No __________________
Contributing factors for choosing to be miserable
I’m not the __________________
What would you do if you were __________________
Podcast #210
Got Grit?
June 16, 2016 * Last updated: September 10, 2023
Grit scale
Making practice a habit
3 steps for teaching grit to your children
Seahawk coach Pete Carroll’s Commander’s Intent (Podcast #206) in short phrases
Podcast #224
Why Smart People Do Dumb Things
August 9, 2016 * Last updated: September 29, 2021
Asking process questions
Sociology of thresholds
Choosing a college according to your confidence
Would you write a check to a billionaire?
Podcast #226
The Success Equation
August 17, 2016 * Last updated: September 29, 2021
Social process business
Luck has a significant contribution in businesses with social processes.
Successful, thoughtful people acknowledge the role of luck.
Luck exists when 3 conditions are in place
Mistaking success from skill rather than from luck
A super star in one setting is seldom a super star in other settings
Interaction effect
Hindering effect of cumulative advantage and power laws
Success = skills x opportunity set
Managing luck
Stronger player simplifies
Weaker player complicates
Podcast #227
The Art & Science of Loving the Place You Live
August 19, 2016 * Last updated: September 29, 2021
Making the best of where you live
Becoming settled
Movers and stayers
Heart home
Place attached
Staying better for introverts
Perception of place
Walking and biking for developing mental maps and making connections
Buying local
Reducing crime by knowing more neighbors
Paying attention to what your town is good at
Placemaking for the better
Career
Podcast #78
The Myth of Following Your Passion
August 22, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021
2 strikes against following passion
3 different things to consider about following your passion
3 general traits to maximize for passion to follow
Craftsman mindset versus passion mindset
Developing career capital with the craftsman mindset
Relevant, rare, and valuable skills
Courage after career capital
Podcast #92
Networking Without “Networking” With John Corcoran
December 8, 2014 * Last Updated September 27, 2021
Networking by staying in touch with former coworkers
Building a relationship takes time
Initial connection, following up, keeping them in your life
Plan ahead
Taking an interest, picking up details, finding a way to add value
Define the people you want to build relationships with
Creating gratitude through introductions, but ask before introducing
Five Minute Favor
Approaching higher ups with the word on the street
Keeping it personal, stupid.
(Positivity promoter me prefers this: Keep it personal, sweetheart.)
Podcast #184
Harnessing Behavioral Psychology for a Rich Life
March 18, 2016 * Last updated: July 2, 2023
Invisible scripts
Negotiating for a raise with with a different approach
Tripod of stability
Failure expectations
Talking to top performers
Crawl, walk, run
Discipline and systems
Testing different approaches for your systems to see what works
Podcast #191
How to Find the Work You Were Meant to Do
April 11, 2016 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Think like a multi-faceted janitor (hands into everything and knowing everyone)
Follow your skill
Be helpful, useful
3 ingredients for choosing a successful career
Improve your chances of winning the career lottery by increasing confidence.
Learn from mistakes and try something new.
Stand out in a job market by improving your soft skills
Use your weak-tie network to get your resume in the back door
Design your dream job within your organization with your technical, leadership. and soft skills.
Entrepreneurial, back door thinking
Be an indispensable, reliable, go-to person
Side hustle importance
Career & Wealth
Podcast #206
Extreme Ownership
June 3, 2016 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
SEAL Team examples
Taking responsibility for every mistake and problem
Commander’s intent with reasons why for the ultimate goal
OODA loop from John Boyd, best Air Force pilot ever
Freedom through discipline
Podcst #222
The Laws of Wealth
August 2, 2016 * Last updated September 29, 2021
Investment behavior
Personal risk tolerance
Goals based on investing
Small stock performance over time
Cheap stock performance over expensive stocks
Character
Podcast #61
The Power of Habit With Charles Duhigg
March 29, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021
How changing habit cues in Iraq stopped riots
Changing “the habit loop” to change your habits
Understanding how practicing belief can lead to success in ending bad habits
Podcast #162
Digital Manners & Etiquette For the Modern Man
December 11, 2015 * Last updated: July 2, 2023
Manners and principles
Consideration, respect, honesty for yourself and others
Platinum rule
Self-assessment tools
Relationships skills
Social Skills
Opportunity skills
Checking in on a regular basis
Gender neutrality in business etiquette
Generational differences
Teaching what worked in the past
Asking permission to perform traditional courtesy
Owing attention to the people you are with
Emails as letters
Setting digital expectations at the beginning of relationships
Entertainment
Podcast #144
Living the Braveheart Life
October 6, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Overcoming pain and emotions and being honest instead of ignoring pain and emotions and being dishonest
Cultivating both hard and soft virtues
Fitness
Podcast #63
Spartan Up With Joe DeSena
April 12, 2014 * Last updated. October 1, 2021
Best workers for physical labor come from other countries where they had “tough upbringing”
Changing frames of reference for what’s important and what’s not can make the world a better place
Spartan race as new lifestyle
Making a commitment and sticking to it
Podcast #195
How to Live Like an Ancient Greek Hero
April 24, 2016 * Late updated: September 28, 2021
Making heroism a statistical probability
Misfit soldiers kidnapping a Nazi General
Burnishing common skills to be practical in a crisis
Strengths (physical capability)
Skill (intellectual skills)
Compassion (connections to fellow humans)
Note
Satisfying physical, mental, and emotional needs
at the same time can transform behavior.
Using your developed physical, mental, and emotional skills
during a crisis is one way to take as much positive control
as you can in that situation.
Health
Podcast #113
The Evolutionary Origins of Depression With Jonathan Rottenberg
May 9, 2015 * Last updated: September 29, 2021
Defining depression to guide you to a solution
Stopping and pausing after a death
Mood as response to a situation
Diversity of meaningful interests for coping with depression
Changing moods by changing thoughts, physical activity, social environment, goals
Therapy goal to be satisfied with your life
Differences in responses to male or female depression
Podcast #115
The Slumbering Masses With Matthew J. Wolf-Meyer
May 21, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Industrial capitalism’s effect on sleep.
Biphasic sleep
Consolidated sleep
Sleeping disorders as social problems
Manly Know-How
Turning Yourself Into a Human Weapon
May 6, 2016 * Last updated: September 29, 2021Note:
Note
including videos by Pat Mac. I will watch more videos and
watch all of them repeatedly until I am mentally prepared.
The defensive moves are easy once you know what to do.
They are extensions of normal movements.
SPEAR (Spontaneous Protection Enabling Accelerated Response)Bruce Lee inspiration
Understanding fear and situational awareness
Managing fear to optimize performance
Difference between victims and victors
When self-defense tools (skills) fail
Startle / flinch response
Verbal defusing (soft or hard)
3 categories of self-defense
Situational awareness, how to manage, simple gross motor movements (videos available)
“If danger is imminent, you do everything you can to choose safety.”
Politics, ego, pride hinder safety
Detect, defuse, deescalate
Legal, ethical, legal implications of defending ourselves
Detect
pay attention to bad feelings
Physiology, psychology, behavior
Selling the idea of we don’t want to fight
Kinesiology secret sauce
Every day movements for self-defense
Fighting back instead of cooperating when danger goes from imminent to immediate
People
Podcast #72
The Charisma Myth with Olivia Fox
June 14, 2014 * Last updated: September 27, 2021
Charisma as learned behavior
Pillars of charisma
Presence
Power
Warmth
Eyes
Voice
Problems charisma creates
Focus charisma
Visionary charisma
Authority charisma
Warmth charisma
Seductive charisma
Superstar charisma
Charisma style according to situation
Note
Power means self-confidence.
For anyone feeling the impostor syndrome, remember this:
My other recommendation for gaining self-confidence
is to get yourself some street cred in an opposite role.
Podcast #164
How to Wow in Relationships and Business
December 20, 2015 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Body language, clothing, tone of voice
Same principles for different situations
Tools for days you don’t feel your best
3 components of messages
Talk to mirrors on phone calls
Make hands visible
Be committed to what you’re talking about
Tell stories about why something is
Tell stories during introductions to create common ground
Use the words ‘you’ and ‘because’
Double check your own perceptions
Ask questions
Job interview strategies
Pick 3 small talk topics ahead of time that allow other people to be an authority and talk about themselves
Podcast #176
The Vanishing Neighbor & The Transformation of American Community
February 10, 2016 * Last updated: September 28, 2021
Do you have the grit to handle a disagreement?
Do you have the grit to control your impulses?
Do you have the grit to develop the middle ring relationships?
People who have that grit are more successful in life.
Podcast #211
Difficult Conversations, Small Talk, and Charisma
June 20, 2016 * Last updated: July 2, 2023
And also…
Flagging conversations
Transitioning to a new topic
Job interviews
Insecurities (stuttering, height, last name)
~~~~~~~~~~
© Paula M. Kramer, 2023
All rights reserved.
Updated December 19, 2024
The Art of Manliness Podcast aims to deepen and improve every area of a man’s life, from fitness and philosophy, to relationships and productivity.